Choice of life path. I need a fresh look at all this.

 Dmitry Safronov
Choice of life path. I need a fresh look at all this.
At the age of 18, I entered the military institute. Now I am a 3rd year student, soon 4th. From the age of 15 I became interested in sports, began to be interested in martial arts. But since he lived in the village, it was not possible to do this. Those that were clutching at them, as if they were saving threads. I have always dreamed of doing it professionally. But since my studies left much to be desired, I had to take up my studies in order to meet the expectations of my relatives. I succeeded, and I entered, hoping that I could continue to study. But the course of a young fighter (if you know what it is =)) great emotional and mental stress did not give me the opportunity to train. And at the very first competitions I lost, because at that time there was a lot of weight, and poor boxing skills, I got involved in a fight with a boxer and lost .. After all, I had good jiu-jitsu skills (fighting on the floor - grappling) but so I believed in myself that I decided that I could defeat him in his element .. After that, I went into myself for a long time and did not practice anymore. But the reason was rather not in defeat, but in the fact that they didn’t take me to the national team and simply didn’t let me bend (only collections could freely) Later, I nevertheless began to practice again, tried to tighten my boxing in order to compete again. But studies, internships .. In general, in the second year I could not again. The third course began again with the hope of performing. I started to train, to prepare for competitions. I put weight on, pulled up the box as much as possible .. But at the last moment I refused. I guess I was scared .. I was afraid to lose and fall into depression. Public opinion was also important, no one believed in my hobby. I refused, and as it seemed to me, "hung the gloves on a nail." So it's been more than six months, and now I'm writing here. I dream, I fall asleep at night thinking about it. About fights, romance of martial arts. I am 20 years old, now my physical condition is not fighting again. It takes time and good coaches to return. I started smoking, throwing snus, I drink more and more on holidays. I drank my last vacation for two weeks, continuously. This helped me to forget, fall into oblivion and throw out thoughts about my hobby for a while. But the reverse side of the medal is that, as I did, I began to develop self-development, read books and a healthy passion for girls appeared. If I had two lives, I would live the first one without hesitation, as I live now. Mom is happy, I have money and the prospects are encouraging. I feel that I can succeed in the business, but I feel like an amateur in it. Thinking about it doesn't make me happy. But since I have one life, I can’t decide with my other self how to continue. After all, if I drop out, then consider all 3 years in vain, all efforts, nerves, part of my health are here. left .. Besides, having expelled, I will go to a mediocre college in a large city, in which study will be in last place. I will devote all my energy and time to sports. I will study all the time that will be possible .. with full dedication. There is a risk and romance .. The risk that nothing will come of it, and I will regret that I ruined my life. Everything will turn out to be wrong. Romance to do what you love, remove restrictions, get tattoos, earn extra money for sports, connect your life with the dark streets, knowing those secrets that, being a military man, I will never know. Find like-minded people, new friends, just as crazy as me, who are able to put everything on the line for the sake of their dreams, within reason, of course. Principled and moral.. It is these qualities that still keep me here.. And do not let me decide. Now in the team I'm not on the best account. Because of my recklessness in my actions, and a certain folly, I have earned a bad reputation. Frankly, they stopped taking me seriously, often considering my actions unreasonable, not correct.

Answers:

Alexander Matheev
Buddy confessional in the church you mixed up the doors. There are more tragedies in life, I'm 42 years old, I had such a thing in my life that I could hang myself five times, GOD IS A WITNESS that I'm not lying. And your snot compared to the problems of many people is 0 (ZERO). But now I am a CCM in powerlifting and this is after a microstroke. and in life, get hurt. Relax and just live, no one will return these years that you were drinking and whining about, and these are your best years.

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